F.F.F.S. -by Butch Catsidy

Fugitive life is a bit more challenging than I anticipated, and I fear I may have developed FFFS. That isn’t just the sound I make at the mini vacuum cleaner when my Primary Human gets too close to me with it, it is a serious condition which I invented because I am the only feline in the world who currently has it (to my knowledge anyway). I am certain I am suffering from Fugitive Feline Fatigue Syndrome, and I am somewhat concerned, because I have scheduled my staff to keep me hidden in the North for several more months before sidetracking me to the west coast.

I am normally in the habit of napping about 16 hours a day and prowling the domicile in the dark hours of the night looking for optimal places to hack up my hairballs, but I find this schedule is difficult to keep in my current living situation. For one thing, my preferred napping surfaces are continuously bouncing around during my premium nap times due to my domicile being on the move most days over rough or curvy road surfaces. Then, when my staff does find a good ‘hole in the wall’ hideout spot that we can lay low in for a few days, my nighttime prowl is all out of whack because it doesn’t get dark in the North! This has thrown me for a bit of a loop, and I hope I don’t lose my night vision skills due to lack of darkness.

I do appreciate the beautiful scenery that I watch out of my getaway vehicle windows. I haven’t seen a Cat Cop (aka Animal Control Officer) in months, so my nerves are holding steady. I hope that in time my FFFS will resolve once I come off the road and enter the catness protection program. In the meanwhile, I must nap when I can, prowl in the twilight between midnight and 4 a.m. and learn to live with my malady.

Don’t forget to remember; it’s FFFS awareness month and will be every month until November this year. Show your support by organizing parades in my honor and donating cat treats to your local animal shelter.

FFFSedly Yours,

 -Butch Catsidy