Could Be Worse -By Butch Catsidy

Not to complain, but life as a feline fugitive could be better. The weather is not what I thought it would be, the road conditions aren’t either and my hideout spot on top of the storage containers under the bed of my getaway vehicle has gotten old pretty darn fast. Even though my staff has arranged a cushy rug for me to hang out on in my hiding spot, there have been way too many urp-inducing twisty turns and miles of washboard dirt roads that nearly rattled my teeth out of their sockets and nasty wind battering the back end of my getaway vehicle around and making for a very long, tedious ride.

I was feeling mighty sorry for myself by the beginning of my third day on the run when we stopped in Ft Sumner, NM to visit the grave of another famous fugitive, William H. Bonney, aka Billy the Kid. Well, I must say, that gave me a new perspective. Fugitives back in Mr. The Kid’s day really had it rough. For example, Mr. The Kid didn’t even have a staff! I am guessing (because cats generally do not ride horses) that his horseback getaway ride was even bumpier than my journey over the dirt road in my getaway vehicle. His pursuers didn’t carry shiny clipboards, they carried big irons on their hips, that they used to shoot at him until he was actually dead!

Now, granted, Mr. The Kid’s infractions were far more serious than a love bite gone too far. He was a much scarier fugitive than me. Maybe he deserved a rougher getaway experience than I am having. He was so bad that even in his grave, he is still in jail! He was so good at his get aways that even his gravestone went on the lam for 25 years. It must be strapped down now with steel bands to keep it in its jail cell with Mr. The Kid. Heaven knows what kind of getaway experience a fugitive gravestone would have. That’s some scary stuff to contemplate. I straightened out my attitude right then. Being a fugitive feline could be better, but it could be a lot worse. I could be a fugitive gravestone with NO STAFF!

So, even though it was a wobbly, long day, I got out of my hidey hole tonight and enjoyed my evening immensely. The getaway vehicle was parked in a particularly pleasant spot that was surrounded by lots of flitting little brightly colored birds and my feral instincts kicked in enough for me to twitch my tail and chitter at them through the windows.

My staff are holding up well and keeping up with my treat dispersal schedule through all this traveling. I let them out to explore and get some exercise at interesting spots on the journey, you know enrichment is very important for staff development. They seem to be thriving in this fugitive lifestyle and I am very impressed with my managerial methods so far.

Happy trails, or at least happier trails than a fugitive gravestone with NO STAFF,

-Butch Catsidy